#51 Poetry, Power & Submission with Pauline Marie-Antoinette

00:00:05: The Cabaret is my absolute passion.

00:00:07: Submission

00:00:07: for the

00:00:08: morning?

00:00:08: I must say, Cabaret-Cravage for me... ...is a bit like entering a parallel reality and i find a lot of strength & power in submission.

00:00:16: A little morning.

00:00:17: warm up

00:00:33: Hello and welcome to our new episode of Sex in Berlin.

00:00:37: And today I'm very happy... ...to have a lovely, new guest beside me!

00:00:42: It's Pauline Marie Antoinette.

00:00:45: Welcome.

00:00:45: Thank you Nika, it is such pleasure to be with you today.

00:00:49: thank you for coming here this cold winter day in the morning.

00:00:55: Meet, I come to you through these wonderful cabaret situations.

00:01:00: This year in the summer it was very hot and nice.

00:01:03: we were on the garbage festival And there was a big crowd.

00:01:08: everyone wanted to see what are doing.

00:01:11: so i tried to linse And in the middle you were performing so wonderful poems and different artists came.

00:01:20: I heard music, it was such a wonderful show!

00:01:23: Since then i see lots of different kind of venues... You provide very special kinds of shows.

00:01:31: Pauline what would say?

00:01:32: Where does all this idea come from ?

00:01:35: What is that power you have for yourself when doing your art?

00:01:40: Well, for me it's been a journey of liberating myself.

00:01:43: For which poetry has been an important tool?

00:01:48: on my path of getting to know the strange beings that lives inside me, of getting out so many taboos.

00:01:57: I grew up in a world where was always told you need to live happy and not speak about your private life or sexuality.

00:02:06: So it never felt really right inside of me.

00:02:10: When i started freeing myself ,i shared what had lived through the mediums of poetry A few years ago to do solo shows, where I was guiding people through a narrative and with my poems making them connect together as well.

00:02:25: And just inviting them have different visions of intimacy or human connection what sexuality means.

00:02:32: but it's much broader than... It also involves some more political subjects Some more erotic subject ...and i think that can really share the whole universe for this show which I've been growing into a cabaret, inviting artists that I love and admire.

00:02:50: And who kind of illustrate my words with some acts... ...and I love to create strange acts combining BDSM and opera acrobatics….

00:02:58: …to invite artistes also challenge themselves in creating new things,….

00:03:03: ..and make the public part of it!

00:03:05: Yes, and the public is always there clapping.

00:03:07: They laugh.

00:03:08: it's always lots of fun you're not?

00:03:10: It's not so serious all The time.

00:03:13: sometimes people maybe are sad for a moment or they Are curious but then they love also like its A big mixture Of feelings during your shows.

00:03:23: So where do You grew up?

00:03:25: I grew Up in the south of France In the countryside but I went to school in Monaco, which was a beautiful place.

00:03:32: But I must say quite superficial and also with a lot of judgments so...I could never really be myself fully And i felt that had to conform a lot to society.

00:03:43: For me coming from the south of France- I've never dreamt living in the north of Germany Yes, but it has a very special charm I think.

00:03:55: And sometimes the cold and darkness brings different side of us out... ...and there's a lot growth as well to discover through.

00:04:05: going for the challenge of winter in Berlin To me was really love story with the city.

00:04:11: A feeling of freedom or realness.

00:04:14: I feel like often in Berlin is about who you are unless what you have.

00:04:19: This was so refreshing coming from the south of France.

00:04:21: So when you write, where do you do it?

00:04:24: Like at home in bed or a co-working space.

00:04:28: Where does your inspiration come from?

00:04:30: and what are the poems coming to life?

00:04:33: I realized that inspiration comes at very strange moments and if i miss it, its gone.

00:04:40: So sometimes when going to a concert there's something alive inside of me And then put on paper or sometimes in the airport On the bench Or at KitKat.

00:04:54: I love to go to Salon Rouge as well dance because dancing brings me really in my body and then I get inspiration.

00:05:02: Sometimes at home, but every poem has a different story and was written in the completely different place And

00:05:08: you write by hand?

00:05:10: Yes!

00:05:12: You just said that sometimes it's also political what you write... ...and you have lots of strong women on your stage.

00:05:21: You're also like a person who has something to say in every kind of topic.

00:05:26: So maybe you want to read part of the poem for us?

00:05:30: Yes, with pleasure!

00:05:32: I would love to share with your poems that it's actually dedicated to men and even if i don't like so much gender binary... ...I still feel like we grew up in society where man & women have different roles.

00:05:46: I'm a feminist, but i also feel like it's important to understand why men are...like they are and what are the struggles?

00:05:55: because we often victimize women a lot.

00:05:58: And for the right reasons!

00:06:00: But men don't have a platform to be able.

00:06:06: it's very hard for them to be who they are in societies that expect so much from them.

00:06:11: So, I wrote this poem which is inspired by Be a Lady.

00:06:14: They Said maybe you've seen this video from Cynthia Nixon and i thought i would create it for men... Okay!

00:06:22: Be A Lady.

00:06:23: And Now Be A Man.

00:06:24: Yes

00:06:27: Be A Men.

00:06:27: They Said Be Powerful Be Strong Be Fearless Don't Cry don't Show Emotions.

00:06:35: You don't have emotions anyway.

00:06:37: Hide your feelings, express you're feeling's.

00:06:40: Be fine be okay never break down!

00:06:44: Be a man they said Work hard make money Make more money Be ambitious be successful.

00:06:53: Your working too much.

00:06:54: Pay for dinner buy the drinks pay for everything.

00:06:58: Be the provider be the protector.

00:07:00: Don't ask for help don't show weaknesses.

00:07:06: Have experience, be a player.

00:07:08: Be a bad boy!

00:07:10: Be alpha.

00:07:11: Be sweet...be rough..be exciting…Be horny but not right now.

00:07:17: Desire only me.

00:07:19: Settle down have family.

00:07:22: Be independent care.

00:07:24: Be faithful.

00:07:25: Be free.

00:07:26: Be man they said.

00:07:29: Get hard Stay hard.

00:07:32: Be slow, slower!

00:07:34: Keep going !

00:07:35: be passionate Don't stop don't slow down don't get tired hold it.

00:07:39: That was too quick... Be a man they said Work out, be fit.

00:07:46: Build muscle Get abs Get bigger arms not to big.

00:07:50: that's too much.

00:07:52: Grow beard shave your beard.

00:07:55: Don't be into looks but look good.

00:07:57: Look effortless.

00:08:00: Be a Man They said, be present.

00:08:04: Take initiative.

00:08:06: read my mind it was obvious.

00:08:09: Be dominant take control.

00:08:11: be the leader being charged.

00:08:14: Being service do what I say.

00:08:16: listen don't talk too much.

00:08:18: Don't talk about your struggles.

00:08:20: you're not supposed to struggle anyway.

00:08:23: Be a man they said.

00:08:27: Don't be victim.

00:08:28: You can't be a victim.

00:08:30: Don't complain, you're privileged.

00:08:32: You had it all anyway!

00:08:35: Be a robot... be something your not….

00:08:38: be man they said.

00:08:45: Because I see many of them around me who are often seen as perpetrators that you know, when we go to sex positive events.

00:08:55: We often blame for so many things and rightly so.

00:08:59: but where does this come from?

00:09:02: So i wanted it a little bit deeper also feel like it's hard for them to find their place in society, because we have so many expectations on them.

00:09:15: We ask them for so many things and I'm also laughing at my own contradictions of what i would ask my partner to do.

00:09:22: And then I felt that its important see as they are For them be able to be different and understand us better.

00:09:31: when you do your cabaret-cavache What is the reaction?

00:09:38: This poem actually touched people a lot.

00:09:41: And I shared it for the first time in April, and had a standing ovation... ...and some people cried and some were very moved.

00:09:50: so i realized that poetry touches people from a special place.

00:09:56: everyone relates differently to my poems but sometimes its really touching peoples' hearts And I'm now working on a video for this poem, which will be out in March.

00:10:08: It's also with music because you're also work with music a lot?

00:10:12: Yes!

00:10:13: I love to work with different musicians and in my cabaret they have an amazing violinist electronic music composer pianist... ...and everything combines different arts You know and music is the big part of it.

00:10:28: How do you put the show together?

00:10:29: And maybe, can explain or tell us a little for everyone who wasn't there yet.

00:10:34: What we see when we come to Cabaret-Cravage ?

00:10:38: So at Cabaret Cravage what's really special is that there are curated parts where each time I'm writing different story on film so it often inspired by seasonality and topics which i want address in this moment.

00:10:54: And so I challenged myself to write new poems based on this story and to invite artists who also create new acts that match these narratives.

00:11:03: Then, at the end of first part of The Cabaret after being quite inspired... ...I asked people about their desires or fantasies in a little paper.

00:11:15: We collect the papers, and in the second part I read some of their desires.

00:11:21: And I spontaneously decide to bring them back into life if people wish!

00:11:26: So this is completely improvised... ...and i invite people from audience to come on stage to fulfill someone's desire And often a lot of magic happen on the moment.

00:11:38: I also have singers who can eventually sing something with their desire if it inspires them, so... ...I'm a bit over control freak and love to have everything planned but i believe that sometimes not planning and allowing the moments which deliver what is meant for life creates so much magic.

00:11:59: I really love this part when you can like wish for a desire, and then it got people doing in the moment.

00:12:06: It's very nice!

00:12:07: And one day someone had wished that was his birthday... ...and they got cake on him?

00:12:14: They eat from him or

00:12:15: something?!

00:12:16: Yes!

00:12:16: So such a lively wonderful moment for everyone in the room.. ..I think there is no better idea to celebrate their birthday than this.

00:12:26: Do you remember this?

00:12:27: Yes, absolutely.

00:12:28: And I also believe that we are all creatives and often when you see a show there's the artist on stage... ...and the public in the audience.

00:12:36: but i think it is beautiful to sometimes have a glimpse of what feels like being onstage To do something which really scares you and leaves memories that you will never forget!

00:12:47: And yes for birthdays definitely A great little challenge take over

00:12:51: When I see you and your performing, You have this different kind of emotions.

00:12:56: Because sometimes we have some BDSM things like people performing Shibari so they get ropes around their bodies or They also got hit a little So sometimes hard thing.

00:13:09: And then you had these very humorous and fun things where someone is performing Like fish Or something...so..you Have the big variety Of feeling.

00:13:21: Why do you work like this and not only do sexy or sad?

00:13:27: You don't choose one emotion, but have a big range.

00:13:31: Well I think that people remember how to make them feel And sometimes when we go into intellectual conferences We can remember some concepts But often what touches us deeply inside is is something you've experienced and that stays with you.

00:13:50: So we can speak about BDSM, you know?

00:13:52: You can learn the theory but once it's only by experiencing... And really feeling what a performer feels!

00:13:59: That's why I invite people who are very relatable as well ...and i love to bring them into a little washing machine of all kinds of emotions.

00:14:08: Personally love art that touches me And I'm sharing what i really love.

00:14:13: So, The Cabaret is my absolute passion and the first person to enjoy so much of this show!

00:14:21: You can feel it when you see yourself on stage that you're happy about doing these kind of work.

00:14:28: One big thing for me was that it's very hot and erotic When I watch these shows.

00:14:33: Maybe there will be a poem also for this.

00:14:36: Do you have a poem for

00:14:37: us?

00:14:37: Yes, with pleasure.

00:14:38: Please!

00:14:39: Which one do you think we'll do ?

00:14:40: Like if... If could share like a sexy thing that you wrote.

00:14:47: Mm-hmm !

00:14:48: ...if you had one in mind.

00:14:49: Yeah yeah.

00:14:50: so whether I do bliss about domination or submission.

00:14:54: Okay.

00:14:55: Sounds good.

00:14:56: Submission for the morning.

00:14:58: So i would love to share your poems and it feels a bit vulnerable to do, but it's about submission because I feel like sometimes we see dominant people as being the strong ones.

00:15:11: But for me always been in control and organizing a lot of things...I realize that being able to have partners that i can trust and fully let go abandon myself and just be fully connected with the present is an absolute gift!

00:15:29: And So I'd love to inspire you that with a blissful submission.

00:15:36: As I enter your front door, dreaming to be Your greatest whore You take away my ability To see.

00:15:45: Tie up my hands without mercy.

00:15:49: In this moment i am all yours.

00:15:53: I'm craving you in All my pores Tied blindfolded and on My knees.

00:16:01: Your command is my only need.

00:16:04: I am yearning for your envy to caress or hit My nude body, my heart keeps beating faster with both fear and desire awaiting For you palm too beat To resonate on my longing cheek.

00:16:23: The stronger You hit the softer you brush.

00:16:26: this delicious blood rush makes me blush Contrast as a most thrilling lust.

00:16:34: Placing your arm around my throat so slowly, So precisely until I faint and fully devote both My body & soul to Your contentment – my only goal.

00:16:53: As You're hitting the same spot ,my whole body begs me To say stop but inside Me I know that silence is my greatest deliverance.

00:17:07: Teasing, pinching whipping hurting every inch of my naked skin tears flowing moans roaring i exult in agony before surrendering as i'm lying on the floor secretly begging for more Whatever bruises or scars my head is floating in the stars.

00:17:37: In your own terms, and you on time.

00:17:40: The torture You give me Is so sublime.

00:17:44: Such suffering drive me insane.

00:17:47: It's beyond anything I can explain.

00:17:51: it's not a punishment but A gift to embrace this magnificent drift.

00:17:58: My greatest freedom is to give it away, To fully trust you in this play.

00:18:05: It's not just sex and moans Not just marks And toys.

00:18:14: Its something else entirely A transcendental ecstasy.

00:18:31: So when you have a poem and start to think about the theme for show, how do you rehearse with other artists?

00:18:40: Do tell them idea of evening or meet all together one-to-one.

00:18:46: How does it

00:18:47: work ?

00:18:48: Usually I contact artist individually bring them together as well.

00:18:55: So for example, from my next show on January thirty first we will have a very special domination experience and the theme is The last layer strips of winter.

00:19:06: so We'll strip both literally and metaphorically And it's going to combine mummification and shibari and impact.

00:19:15: And for this, Ron Hadesk who's going to be performing needs a very special music.

00:19:21: So I bring him with Alexei Five-String Theory my Music Director Who is gonna compose something specific For the performance and maybe involve another artist as well.

00:19:32: Looking forward to this What i also like Is that you have The times of year are Also part Of your stories Like when it's Christmas or now you have the winter time, a summer that your audience feels like they're not doing every type of show.

00:19:49: The same one where we are sitting in warm summer day and now its winter.

00:19:59: You really connect to the time we are in at this moment.

00:20:02: And that's how it feels when you add one of your shows, That you're there and present... ...and can be a participant or an audience at once.

00:20:13: In a way When you have lovely shows It also ends with opening them up for play Or everyone can do something in the end.

00:20:24: What will they do?

00:20:26: So, I must say Cabaret-Cravage for me is a bit like entering a parallel reality.

00:20:31: And...I personally learned so much from entering different parallel worlds.

00:20:37: that's what i'd like to create!

00:20:39: I love you to enter world where it about being yourself without shame.

00:20:44: It´s about being explorative relating with people in the different way and so The Cabaret Is A Bit Of Way To Open.

00:20:51: People´s Mind enters the second part of The Evening, which is about trying something new.

00:20:59: You have Shibari artists who can tie you up... ...you can eventually be a dessert plate with the dessert served on your body and having people eat from your body….

00:21:09: …you can have people fulfilling your fantasies or inviting to indulge into sensation play impact-play And I love to create space that's not really sexual but very intimate.

00:21:21: you're both invited to be vulnerable, to explore a different way of feeling sensations.

00:21:27: Of playing with people...of exploring yourself.

00:21:31: and this combines also really good food because for me sensuality is really related to all the senses.

00:21:38: so I love to have very nice bites that can take on the buffet.

00:21:43: You eat it with your hands?

00:21:44: Yes!

00:21:46: And you could feed other people And to create a whole sensory experience so that when you enter here, You're invited to relate with other people in ways way more vulnerable.

00:21:56: I really invite everyone be open and try things they've never done before.

00:22:03: So what are your plans for this year?

00:22:05: or your wishes.

00:22:06: You have a dream, what will be the next step?

00:22:10: Are you in Friedrichstadt-Palast ?

00:22:11: Or like... What are the next steps that you'd like to go?

00:22:15: Well until now I was doing the cabaret on very beautiful private venue but i feel it's kind of like a teenager who is staying at his parents' place and wants to explore the world.

00:22:25: so ...I'm bringing it to Bauhaus Berlin On Chaussée Strasse At The End Of The Month which is this nineteen twenties cabaret space And I really love sexy venues.

00:22:35: I think it has a very special atmosphere.

00:22:37: And so, i'm really much looking forward to this show and doing more shows as well!

00:22:43: I am also looking maybe find my own venue in Berlin?

00:22:47: That would be big dream... ...and keep developing growing it.

00:22:53: Can you live from that ?

00:22:54: Do have second job or how do with money?

00:22:57: So at the moment I have The Cabaret, they also organize retreats.

00:23:01: Sometimes my own...I work with different people with retreats that are very theatrical in my experience or around intimacy, Tantra, Shibari.

00:23:11: we feel women And I also have a consulting project.

00:23:16: I'm working with centrally.com, which is... ...a beautiful platform that invites people to have access to central experiences So from Tentra Massage To Shibari To coaching To Boudoir Photoshoot.

00:23:31: It's really about making you discover different things With professionals and i think it still quite taboo pay for essential experiences, but I'm very privileged to be able try some of them and am getting so much from it.

00:23:48: And I really believe in their mission and vision... ...to invite people to free themselves through professionals who have a lot of experience in different fields.

00:24:00: Yesterday actually experienced a co-tying So being tied by two rigors in Shibari In Adal & Roksour.

00:24:09: It was one of the best experience.

00:24:11: in Adel, she's called An Hoek-Soo a partner.

00:24:15: And they both tied me together and I must say it was One Of The most incredible experiences i had In my life!

00:24:23: I just felt Both like a queen at the same time invited into their intimacy being tied with so much care and complicity and sensualty then being suspended where really let go and a lot of emotions came up.

00:24:40: It was so releasing, it's so beautiful!

00:24:43: And I really felt that wish for everyone to be able experience this

00:24:48: Sounds super lovely.

00:24:49: What else is there to discover you, what had you learned in the last years or experienced?

00:24:58: I

00:25:00: personally really love tantra massage as well which i think it's such a beautiful practice where You connect with another body and ways that are so intimate And take care of your whole body moving energies.

00:25:13: I wish i had learned this when I was younger because they often think that, you know we think we know about sex but it's somethings that... You need to learn as well.

00:25:23: To be a good lover There is alot of intuitive things that u can do But there are amazing practices and so I really enjoy So much both like Shibari tying Tantra massage or learning to be slow And just feel what is happening on the moment to just be present with the other person.

00:26:13: Actually, do you want me to share this with Empire One or

00:26:17: whatever?

00:26:18: Which one just came to you maybe to heat us up in the winter.

00:26:26: Maybe I'll share Ayam as I am which is about... Yeah!

00:26:29: You like

00:26:30: it so nice

00:26:32: okay So maybe at end i would love to show a poem that was very liberating for me too right.

00:26:39: It's called Ayam As I Am And I also love to invite people to write their own.

00:26:45: I Am As I Am, you know?

00:26:47: But maybe to inspire you.

00:26:49: To do this...I'll share it with y'all!

00:26:52: I am as I AM.

00:26:54: I am made this way… I like to seduce and to flirt without thinking of tomorrow nor yesterday.

00:27:04: First and foremost – I like give.

00:27:07: To get lost within yourself To tease and above all, to please.

00:27:13: To treat us…to the very best.

00:27:17: I am as iam!

00:27:18: I dare to assume everything.

00:27:21: The darkness And light are both a part of my being.

00:27:27: Sometimes I fall in love...I let my heart play.

00:27:32: Sometimes for freedom I escape and run away.

00:27:37: I have a craving for passion.

00:27:40: I'm not scared of suffering.

00:27:42: I don't always know the reason, I just surrender to my

00:27:46: feelings.".

00:27:48: I am enamored with pleasure and nothing can change that…I succumbed to my desires...and sometimes never come back!

00:27:59: Why would you judge me or try to control me?

00:28:11: But don't try to possess me, I am a free bird.

00:28:41: I'm not scared to express it.

00:28:44: And It's your choice, To take or live it.

00:29:02: big emotions and different kind of practices, wonderful other artists.

00:29:07: And your

00:29:08: heart

00:29:08: is so full of wonderful literature

00:29:11: and

00:29:12: good energy.

00:29:13: thank you very much!

00:29:14: Thank you so much Nika.

00:29:15: it was a pleasure to discuss with you today.

00:29:27: That was a Sax in Berlin.

00:29:28: Please check out also our wonderful books and thank you for listening.

00:29:33: We hope you enjoyed today's episode And learned as much as we did.

00:29:38: give us likes subscription to the podcast and leave us comments.

00:29:42: You can also reach out to our website sexin.bullen, you Can find all relevant information about Us As well as Our wonderful guests In The show notes.

00:29:57: Sexy Berlin is a Studio Thirty-Six Production, host Mika Wessel.

00:30:02: Post production and sound design Amadeus Lindemann & Vincent Lerche.